Sexual Abuse Cases
After having done estate litigation cases for almost 40 years, and exclusively for the last almost 20 years, I am continually amazed at the number of disinherited adult children assert that they were sexually abused by a parent, usually a stepfather, adopted father, and surprisingly natural father’s during their preteen adolescents and typically up to as late as he ages 15 and 16 or older.
This week I met with two sisters who were sexually abused by their father for many years, including full sexual intercourse, and each kept it a secret from the other until after their father died and they learned they had basically been disinherited.
It was particularly upsetting to also meet with one of the daughters two daughters who were also sexually abused by their grandfather when they were young girls.
They also did not tell anyone.
No one did talk and this is the norm, not the exception in my experience.
The problem is then compounded after the death of the offending parent by disbelief, disgust, and degradation by the unbelieving beneficiaries who allege that
the story is being made up and is completely untrue.
I recently offered that the two daughters and the two grandchildren both undergo lie detecting (polygraph) testing and that they be bound by the truth or falsity of
their evidence as per the skilled operator.
I do not know the opposing lawyers position to that proposition yet.
Sexual abuse victims typically have no power whatsoever and are often threatened with every frightening thought that a young child could imagine, but typically relate to abandonment ( back to the orphanage) or physical threats.
There is typically less physical evidence, and there are typically fewer corroborative witnesses.
The type of injury typically leads many of the victims to lead a continuing life of re-victimize themselves typically by placing themselves in vulnerable positions
allowing themselves to be exploited.
Many females are in rotating violent relationships and many male abusers become abusers themselves, and the vicious cycle continues.
The victims typically have a great loss of self-esteem and self-worth, often to the point where they do not consider themselves worthy to even contest the
offending parents estate so as to keep the secrets bottled.
The victims also typically have long-term psychological issues that typically involve alcohol and drug abuse to cover their hurts.
The victims often have poor self insight but as you might well imagine also have difficulty with sexual relationships, ranging from rampant promiscuity, to the sex
industry, to lack of trust in intimate relationships.
The effects of sexual abuse are far more harmful and detrimental to the victims health and welfare than most members of society realize, including the perpetrators of the abuse.