Dysfunctional Families and Narcissistic Parents

Free Yourself From Narcissistic Parenting

I frequently encounter the disinherited victims of a deceased parent, and after a few minutes of questioning, it is easy for me to determine that the deceased likely suffered from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and the victim of narcissistic parenting.

 

A present client who has endured a great deal of suffering all her life due to narcissistic parenting, in this case, her uncaring father, forwarded me some passages about how to deal with this painful issue.

I am reproducing them today in the blog as I believe there is a good deal of need for this information.

I basically told my client to get over her father as he was one of the most self centred people I had ever heard about in 38 years of practicing law, and not worthy of her stress, depression and lost love.

 

Narcissistic Parenting: Take Back Your Life from Your Narcissistic Father

Narcissists cast dark shadows over our lives, especially when we are very young. Deep inside, instinctively,  we know that we must survive. Many of us go along not only to get along but to stay alive psychologically. Some young children in highly disturbed narcissistic families become hyper-vigilant – always surveying their environments for danger, threats, visceral feelings of being completely unsafe. Other children are less aware of the dynamics in the family on a conscious level. They distract themselves with activity, telling themselves that everything is all right. In our earliest years our minds normalize what we are experiencing. It is the rare person who as a small child knew that there was something fundamentally wrong, unjust, and highly disturbed about one or both of our parents.

Narcissistic fathers cannot parent. They are emotionally unavailable to their children. They go through the motions of interacting with them. They may give greater attention to a child whom they perceive will become a star, a standout in the family – this is another narcissistic supply for the father. He doesn’t care about the individuality of this son or daughter. He sees potential in them that can be nurtured and eventually will reflect  his greatness.The kids who don’t make the cut–the ones who are less attractive, (Blind / Deaf – CDD), highly sensitive, not socially skilled—-are set aside for neglect and constant ridicule. To the narcissistic father you are either his possession or you don’t exist. This man constantly appraises the value of his children to him. He sets unapproachable goals. Everyone must be at the top of the class or else. These fathers will take a son who has athletic capability and make them work out to the point of exhaustion and injury to fulfill their dream of having a son who is a professional athlete. Andre Agassi, the great tennis champion talks about his cruel narcissistic father’s forcing him from early childhood to practice hour after hour without let up. He didn’t care that his son hated tennis. Father prevailed. And yes, Agassi became a great champion but at a great price–years of abuse and agony.

There is an accumulation of truth about your narcissistic father. Some of his children recognize early that they are being used to prop up their father’s ego supplies and his grandiose self vision. Others identify with the father and spend their lives as his living servants. Those who wake up to the truth that the father is a merciless narcissist, sever this toxic relationship and begin the healing process of fulfilling their birthright of becoming a free separate individual. Some turn to professional psychotherapy and grieve for the real father they never had. There are other healing paths–meditation, hatha yoga, journaling, the forming of meaningful close relationships with individuals who care deeply about the real you. Those who go through this passage discover that they are finally free to lead their lives on their terms. They thrive, discover creative gifts that have been left dormant and gain confidence and inner peace by embracing their real selves.

Visit website: thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Email: lmlphd@thenarcissistinyourlife

 

Narcissistic Parenting Sabotages Children

By definition sabotage is a “treacherous action.” Treachery when perpetrated upon a family member means destruction and annihilation. It is beyond ruthlessness.

Growing up in a family that exhibits narcissistic parenting is like being in the middle of a deadly fire fight twenty four hours a day. The child who survives these skirmishes and all out wars is truly remarkable. I hear and read life stories of those who found survival techniques. Many of them hide in their own shoes, spent time with friends to keep out of the war zone, slipped their minds away into books, video games, drawing, writing, other creative activities. Some children were fortunate to have a grandparent who would give them times of respite.

Some children who have this experience are in a constant state of anxiety – fight or flight syndrome. The narcissist – mother or father or both rule the household. Screams and demands–slaps and threats can be heard and experienced frequently in these homes. The narcissist lives for himself (herself) alone. Narcissists don’t love their children. They use them to prop up their egos if they perceive that a particular child can add to their perfect image. In this case the child is indulged. The rest of the kids are cast aside and neglected or treated abysmally. Some of these children find ingenious ways to save their sense of self, to conceal their creative gifts but continue to use them and to keep the inner fire of a sense of self burning brightly. I have known individuals who have been able to accomplish this despite all of the narcissistic pathology of their mother or father or both parents.

Adult children continue to heal through skilled psychotherapy and many forms of bringing the body/mind back into balance: gentle yoga, meditation, support groups, full use of your creativity. You can heal. You will heal.

 

Everyone is Disposable, Even the Spouse and Children

Narcissists are incapable of sincere feelings and deep relationships. They are brilliant actors. You make believe, even if you have been married to a narcissist for a number of years, that this person loves you. The narcissist in incapable of loving anyone. This is not part of his psyche. He/she views human relationships as stepping stones that will enhance their image socially and professionally, impress the right people.(Bernice). They are vehicles that smooth their way toward goals they have been fixated most of their lives. Absolutely no one, not even their spouses or children is permitted to create obstacles as they climb professionally, creating greater influence and connecting with the right people. When push comes to shove the narcissist is compelled due his dark motivations to manipulate and exploit those closest to them. Narcissists often substitute one family for another. It isn’t unusual for them to start with a beginning family. When they discover that their spouse and children are not capable of heightening their prestige and power reach, they abandon entire families. They have absolutely no guilt about these cruel, psychologically devastating decisions and their painful consequences.

Narcissists shift quickly to the next phase of their climb toward their targeted summit by seeking a second marriage that will bring them the connections and access to which they are entitled. This time they make sure that the new spouse has any number of a combination of qualifications. She could be a prominent medical specialist who is part of an auspicious social circle. Marrying into a prominent well established family is a tried and true route. Once accepted by this new family the narcissist digs in to eventually control its key members To solidify the union, they often have children with the new spouse to become indispensable to their newly created nuclear family and extended families.

The previous spouse and children have long been forgotten. The narcissist acts as if they never existed. Often he refuses to provide alimony and child support and uses the manipulations of the court system to avoid his legal and moral obligations. The narcissist views all of this like an annoyance, something he uses his handpicked attorneys to distance himself from the past. For the narcissist it doesn’t exist.

Narcissists are ultimate opportunists and exploiters so it isn’t surprising that some of them jump from one relationship or marriage to another, always looking for the fulfillment of their grandiose visions.

To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth and to protect yourself from his/her tactics, study this fixed personality disorder which does not change. You deserve to be a part of genuine loving relationships built on trust, deep love and respect.

Further reading on Narcissistic Parenting

Cutting Ties with the Family and Estrangement

How to Survive a Narcissistic or Abusive Family

Aggressive Narcissism – There is Only Win or Lose

Identities of Innocent May Be Protected

BC Appeal Court in 1985 Rules Names of Innocent May Be Protected

Hirt v College of Physicians and Surgeons ( British Columbia) BCCA ( 1985) 3 WWR 350 was one of the first BC appeal court decisions, if not the first, to hold that the infringement of the right of the public to freedom of expression is justified where publicizing the identities of innocent parties will accomplish nothing and the rights of those innocent will be protected.

The respondent, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of British Columbia (the “college”), removed the appellant Dr. H.’s name from the medical register after holding an in camera hearing in which detailed evidence was heard respecting the sexual relations of Dr. H. and several of his patients, including Dr. Jane Doe, an intervenor in these proceedings, as well as the sexual relations of those patients with others.

Dr. H. appealed this decision. Dr. Doe sought an order in chambers to seal the file and to permit the use of pseudonyms and other devices to protect the true identity of the complainants and others.

Dr. Doe appealed from the decision of the chambers judge dismissing her application.

The Appeal was allowed.

Although public accessibility to the courts and to court records is needed so that society can be assured that justice has been done, reasonable limitations to that principle have been recognized for many years in free and democratic so­cieties.

It is demonstrably justifiable in a free and democratic society that the openness rule be restricted to protect the innocent when, as in this case, nothing would be accomplished by publicizing the identities of the complainants or their sexual partners.

The right of the public to be satisfied that justice has been done in a fair and public hearing by an independent tribunal would be assured as the full record of evidence — except as to the identities of the complainants and others — would be available and the hearing would be in open court.

The full transcript would be sealed and available to the appeal judge; the file transcript would delete the identities of the complainants and others and any information which could disclose those identities.

Counsel could use pseudonyms in memoranda and argument unless the hearing judge deemed necessary to do otherwise to ensure a fair hearing.

Stieg Larsson Tragic Legacy Would Not Occur Under BC Estate Laws

Many of us have now heard the story about how the author of the famous trilogy, (” The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)  suddenly died prior his publication and financial success.

The truly shocking part of the story is that his common-law spouse of 32 years did not inherit his estate, which instead went to his two biological relatives being his father and younger brother.

This would not occur in British Columbia under the provisions of the Estate Administration act under which his entire estate would have gone to his surviving spouse, Ms. Gabrielsson.

This excerpt is taken from a recent  newspaper article on the subject :

 

“Blood Trumps Love

 

Gabrielsson and Larsson weren’t just a couple, but also a leftist action group. First they were Maoists and then Trotskyists, voicing their criticism of the Swedish welfare state from a leftist point of view. She was an architect, while he worked for a news agency. They managed to make ends meet, and had no children. Like many Swedes of their generation, they were anti-bourgeois.

In their social circle, while couples may have been monogamous, they didn’t marry. But under Swedish law, a member of an unmarried couple doesn’t inherit anything from his or her deceased partner, no matter how long the couple was together. Blood trumps love, unless a will exists, but Larsson hadn’t written one. For that reason, the rapidly growing proceeds from the sale of the books and the film rights went to two biological relatives, Larsson’s father Erland (his mother Vivianne is dead) and his younger brother Joakim. “The money went to us, but we didn’t ask for it,” says Erland Larsson, 76. They could have turned down the inheritance, but that wasn’t what they wanted.

The father and the brother still live in northern Sweden, in a city called Umea. The father occasionally visited his son in Stockholm and tried to convince him to get married, but the son only laughed at his father’s suggestion. The brothers, Stieg and Joakim, were not close and rarely saw each other.

After Larsson’s death, when his novels suddenly became such a huge success, the widow who isn’t a widow under the law sat down with Erland and Joakim Larsson to discuss what should happen next. An agreement seemed possible. But then attorneys took over the case, and an inheritance war ensued — one in which the Stieg Larsson fan community has participated extensively.

Two camps have since formed in Sweden: the (primarily female) Eva camp, with its own website (www.supporteva.com), and the (primarily male) Larsson camp (www.moggliden.com).”

disinherited.com is actually surprised that the matter has developed into two antagonistic groups.

To disinherited.com it would appear that the supposedly more equitable and modern  socialist state that Sweden purported to have , complete with paternal child care, has an incredible gaping hole in its  estate laws when it comes to the complete lack of inheritance rights by long time common-law spouses.

Thankfully this would no longer occur in British Columbia

– See more at: http://www.disinherited.com/blog/stieg-larssons-tragic-legacy-would-not-occur-under-bc-estate-laws#sthash.SHZCSJ6b.dpuf

Body Snatching Has A Long History

American news this week reported that a woman’s body had been stolen from her grave 16 years after she had been laid to rest in a New Jersey cemetery.

She had been 98 when she had been entombed inside a family mausoleum alongside four other family members.

The extensive mausoleum had been accessed by people who came with the necessary tools and intent to break in.

Whereas family members and the public at large were dumbfounded as to what had occurred, there had been many similar incidents in 2006 when the CEO of a New Jersey human tissue recovery firm, and head of a large body snatching ring was arrested.

He and his employees had netted millions of dollars illegally harvesting human bones, organs, tissue another cadaver parts from more than 1000 individuals awaiting cremation.

In fact there is a long history of body snatching largely throughout the world, including Canada until it was abolished by legislation, which initially was the Anatomy Act of 1832 in England.

Prior to that it was very common for grave robbers/body snatchers to dig up the remains of the deceased, primarily for the sale of the human remains for anatomy studies.

A famous incident occurred in Québec during the Montréal winter of 1875 when a typhoid fever struck at a convent school.

The corpses of the victims were stolen  by body snatchers before relatives arrived causing an international scandal.

The Anatomy Act of Québec was shortly thereafter brought into effect.

Prior to the introduction of this legislation the only legal supply of corpses for anatomical purposes where those condemned to death by the courts. There was always a substantial shortage of corpses for medical purposes.

It must also be remembered that this was prior to the supply of refrigeration and bodies would decay rapidly and become unusable for study.

Historically the body snatchers were not severely punished as it was treated as a misdemeanour.

The robbers would be careful not to steal items of value such as jewelry from the tomb, as that was a far more serious offense that was often punishable by death.

BC Estate Lawyer- Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Narcissitic Personality

Trevor Todd and Jackson Todd have over sixty years combined experience in handling contested estates, which often involve narcissi tic parents..

Repeated With The Permission of Peter Bloch  From His Blog response to our blog entitled “Personality Disorders In Estate Litigation”

“I found this article very interesting and also very much in line with my own experience working with people who involved in serious family disputes (sometimes, but not always related to inheritances).
The first of Accettura’s reasons is, in my experience, quite rightly stated first. It is, in the case of serious disputes, by far the most commonly present and by a long way the most intractable. People with personality disorders, itself a major psychiatric diagnosis, are often unwilling or unable to negotiate on a basis that to other people would seem “reasonable”.

Those with the so-called “cluster B” disorders are usually the least able to alter their positions and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are given to words and deeds that can astonish in their cruelty.

This last personality disorder, the narcissistic, is remarkably common, some believe more than 2% of the population would be diagnosed with it (people with the disorder will rarely submit themselves for diagnosis because they appear to suffer much less than their victims) and they are disproportionately, although by no means exclusively, male. It particularly lends itself to disputes about inheritances for several reasons.

Firstly, people with the disorder are frequently addicted to fantasies of unlimited success (in fact, it is one of the major diagnostic criteria) and more money can seem disproportionately important to them, even if they are already wealthy.

Secondly, people with the disorder are “devoid of empathy” (another diagnostic criteria) and so can be ruthless in pursuing their goals, whatever the human cost.

Thirdly, people with the disorder feel much superior to other people (part of the definition of “narcissism”) and have a sense of superior entitlement – why should the “little people” have things that they want?

Fourthly, people with the disorder have a great many stored up grievances against other people, particularly family members who may insist upon seeing them as they are and not as they would like to be seen (a particular narcissistic characteristic), and people with the disorder will not want to pass up an opportunity to get revenge for slights, real or perceived.
If you’ve made it through this little primer, you will understand why a disproportionate number of serious and intractable disputes over inheritances involve personality disorder.
This is a link here to a Wikipedia article on Narcissistic Personality Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder and this is a link to a short article that I’ve posted about the modern trend towards narcissism in society http://blochhealing.co.uk/narcissism-and-society.

I hope you’ll post this comment – I’ve taken some trouble! If you do, I’ll return later to make a few suggestions about how best to deal with these problems as family member or as legal representative.”
Submitted by Peter Bloch (not verified) on Sat, 05/19/2012 – 2:32am.

Steven Covey RIP- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

It may be slightly off the mark for an estate litigation blog to write about the passing of Steven Covey, but it remains that his thought provoking ideas about how one ought to approach work ,and life in general, to become a highly effective person, are something we can all benefit from.

This may especially be the case for those going through the stress of estate litigation.

 

A summary of the 7 principles are as follows, which of course trivialize what Covey put into three books, but it is simply a tribute of his great work:

 

The following was copied from Wikpedia:

Independence or Self-Mastery

The First Three Habits surround moving from dinosaurs to independence day (i.e., self mastery):

  • Habit 1: Be Proactive

Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life’s principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. Take responsibility for your choices and the consequences that follow.

  • Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals. Envision the ideal characteristics for each of your various roles and relationships in life. Create a mission statement.

  • Habit 3: Put First Things First

Prioritise, plan, and execute your week’s tasks based on importance rather than urgency. Evaluate whether your efforts exemplify your desired character values, propel you toward goals, and enrich the roles and relationships that were elaborated in Habit 2.

 

Interdependence

The next three have to do with Interdependence (i.e., working with others):

  • Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a “win” for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way.

  • Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Use empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, respect, and positive problem solving.

  • Habit 6: Synergize

Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals no one person could have done alone. Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.

 

Self Renewal

The Last habit relates to self-rejuvenation:

  • Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes on exercise for physical renewal, prayer (meditation, yoga, etc.) and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to the society for spiritual renewal.

Use Technology to Gather Evidence In Estate Litigation

Evidence In Estate Litigation

One of the greatest hurdles that plaintiffs estate litigators face is gathering evidence to prove to a court what one strongly suspects occurred prior to the death of the deceased.

The deceased is obviously not in a position to testify, and other witnesses to any estate skulduggery are not willing.

One of the greatest resources for background information is that of records such as those kept by hospitals, government, telephone companies, Internet providers, professionals and the like.

One other obvious great source of information is demonstrative evidence such as photographs, videos, notes, cards,letters, and increasingly e-mails and other social media such as Facebook or Twitter.

As the amount of estate litigation increases, it is taking on some aspects of family law, but without the usual urgency that matrimonial law often seems to bring.

It would seem that it is probably more common than uncommon, to see e-mail exchanges, texts, and  another forms of social media introduced into court evidence, either at trial or by affidavits.

Chat room conversations can be particularly devastating in matrimonial proceedings, and as I am fond of saying, estate litigation is very similar to matrimonial litigation except that there is one less witness.

My point is that there are now hundreds of millions of people that have left a long digital trail that may come back be very useful to one side or the other in damaging evidence many years later.

It is no secret that a huge percentage of these hundreds of millions of people will have or have posted what in retrospect might be recalled “regrettable”, if not downright humiliating photographs, chats, e-mails and the like.

Dumb by the hundreds of millions.

All of that evidence will be readily available in all types of litigation, including estate litigation, into the far future.

Sexual Abuse Cases Are Different From Other Victims of Crime

Help

Sexual Abuse Cases

After having done estate litigation cases for almost 40 years, and exclusively for the last almost 20 years, I am continually amazed at the number of disinherited adult children assert that they were sexually abused by a parent, usually a stepfather, adopted father, and surprisingly natural father’s during their preteen adolescents and typically up to as late as he ages 15 and 16 or older.

This week I met with two sisters who were sexually abused by their father for many years, including full sexual intercourse, and each kept it a secret from the other until after their father died and they learned they had basically been disinherited.

It was particularly upsetting to also meet with one of the daughters two daughters who were also sexually abused by their grandfather when they were young girls.

They also did not tell anyone.

No one did talk  and this is the norm, not the exception in my experience.

The problem is then compounded after the death of the offending parent by disbelief, disgust, and degradation by the unbelieving beneficiaries who allege that

the story is being made up and is completely untrue.

I recently offered that the two daughters and the two grandchildren both undergo lie detecting  (polygraph) testing and that they be bound by the truth or falsity of

their evidence as per the skilled operator.

I do not know the opposing lawyers position to that proposition yet.

Sexual abuse victims typically have no power whatsoever and are often threatened with every frightening thought that a young child could imagine, but typically relate to abandonment  ( back to the orphanage) or physical threats.

There is typically less physical evidence, and there are typically fewer corroborative witnesses.

The type of injury typically leads many of the victims to lead a continuing life of re-victimize themselves typically by placing themselves in vulnerable positions

allowing themselves to be exploited.

Many females are in rotating violent relationships and many male abusers become abusers themselves, and the vicious cycle continues.

The victims typically have a great loss of self-esteem and self-worth, often to the point where they do not consider themselves worthy to even contest the

offending parents estate so as to keep the secrets bottled.

The victims also typically have long-term psychological issues that typically involve alcohol and drug abuse to cover their hurts.

The victims often have poor self insight but as you might well imagine also have difficulty with sexual relationships, ranging from rampant promiscuity, to the sex

industry, to lack of trust in intimate relationships.

The effects of sexual abuse are far more harmful and detrimental to the victims health and welfare than most members of society realize, including the perpetrators of the abuse.

Adopted Ex-Husband Not Entitled to Share of Gore-Tex Fortune

Adopted Ex-Husband Not Entitled to Share of Gore-Tex Fortune

Novel and interesting estate disputes frequently make the news, especially when the fight is over family fortunes.

The Gore-Tex water proof founder recently died leaving an  estate that has $3 billion in annual sales.

The following was taken from the Globe and Mail,  May 24.12 Business section:

“F. Scott Fitzgerald Observed! that the rich are different, but that does not mean an heiress can adopt her 65-year-dld ex-hus­band to increase her family’s claim to a billion dollar inheri­tance.

Delaware’s Supreme Court ruled onTuesday that the un- „ conventional adoption did not*” entitle the man to inherit a share of the Gore-Tex fortune? aterproof, fabric tortune.   ‘

Heirs to the founders of WX. Gore & Associates Inc. of Newark, DeL, have fought for  years over how to divide their stake in the privately held com­pany, which has $3-billion (U.S.) in annual revenue.

Their battle landed in court over the question of how the     ■ late Wilbert L. Gore, who found­ed the company in his basement in 1958* and his late wn%, Vieve, intended to divide their fortune.

At the centre of the dispute was the adoption nearly a dec­ade ago by Susan Gore, one of Wilberfs five children, of her ex-husband, Jan Otto*

According to the court’s opin­ion, Susan Gore and her son Nathan Otto began considering the adoption to even out the potential distribution from a family trust,

But because Susan Gore and Jan Otto had three children, while each of her four siblings had four, Susan’s children stood to inherit fewer shares.

She decided to adopt her ex-husband , who initially assured her he wanted to be her sone merely to benefit their children.

Gore went to a Wyoming court and secretly adopted her 65 year old ex in 2003

A year later, Jan Otto had a ;change of heart and decided to ~ Keep the potential distribution from the trust for himself, according to the court ruling.

While Susan was considering whether to “un-adopt” her ex-husband in 2005, according to the opinion, her mother Vieve Gore died, releasing the trust assets and setting in motion the legal wrangling that led to the court’s ruling.

“The fact that Susan kept this adoption secret until Vieve died further evidences that Susan and the Otto grandchildren knew that they were acting to thwart Vieve’s intentions,” Chief Justice Myron Steele wrote in the 27-page opinion.

Missing Persons Part 2 – Presumption of Death Orders

Missing person

Missing Persons and Presumption of Death- Part 2

The horrendous death tolls in  recent years from tsunamis, natural disasters, and murder unfortunately raise interesting legal questions.

The bodies of many of the victims remain missing and may never be recovered.

Public officials have simply presumed these people to be dead.

It is one thing, however, to estimate the numbers for the purposes of reporting to the public.

It is quite another to fulfil the legal steps required to obtain a declaration that a particular individual should be officially considered dead.

 

People sometimes go missing for many years, sometimes forever.  Such disappearances inevitably raise a variety of legal questions.

These can involve everything from the preservation of assets, the administration of the estate, the right to any insurance proceeds, the entitlement of the

missing person to share in estate of a third party, to many other such questions.

 

When faced with a situation involving a missing person, the estate lawyer must determine which remedies may be available.  Is there is sufficient evidence to

obtain, without further delay, a declaration of presumption of death order?  Alternatively, is it possible and necessary to have a curator appointed to administer

the missing person’s affairs, until a future date when a presumption of death may be obtained?

 

In British Columbia the relevant legal remedies are contained in two provincial statutes.

 

Firstly the Estates of Missing Persons Act  discussed yesteday,which provides, inter alia, for the appointment of an interim curator.

Secondly the Survivorship and Presumption of Death Act which authorizes applications for a declaration of presumption of death.  This statute also provides for

a presumption of survivorship where two or more person die in circumstances making the order of death uncertain.  Specifically it provides that for all purposes

affecting property, their deaths are presumed to have occurred in the order of their seniority, i.e. the younger person is deemed to have survived the older

person.

 

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE SURVIVORSHIP AND PRESUMPTION OF DEATH ACT WILL LIKLEY BE REPEALED IN MID 2012.

 

 

THE COMMON  LAW  RULES

 

a)        THE  PRESUMPTION OF DEATH

 

The common law underlies all statutes.  Thus it is helpful to firstly consider the common law, as it applied prior to the enactment of these statutes.  At common

law, the courts would presume a missing person to be missing only if all the following circumstances were proven:

 

a)  the person had been absent for at least seven years;

b) during those seven years the person had not contacted the persons he or she would normally contact;

c)  all reasonable enquiries had been made as to the person’s whereabouts; and

d) all these reasonable enquiries were to no avail.

 

In the case of Re Phene’s Trusts (1869) L.R. 5 Ch. 139 the headnote succinctly summarizes the law as follows:

 

“If a person has not been heard of for seven years, there is a presumption of law that he is dead; but at what time within that period he died is not a matter of presumption, but of evidence, and the onus of proving that the death took place at any particular time within the seven years lies upon the person who claims a right to the establishment of which that fact is essential.”

 

In order for the presumption of death to arise, there must be an unexplained absence.  The presumption will not arise if the circumstances are such as to

account for the absence.  However even in circumstances where the original absence was capable of explanation, that may change.  Thus an unexpectedly

prolonged absence together with no contact with family or friends may be sufficient to satisfy the absence requirement.

 

Where it is shown, however, that the lack of contact by the missing person was characteristic, then the presumption of death will not arise.

 

The degree of reasonable enquiries required to support an application will vary with the circumstances of the absence. Generally the court will require that

inquiries have been made to all the persons who might normally have heard from or of the missing persons.  In addition the court will usually require that

enquiries be made of police departments, phone records, bank records, and by advertising in the locale where the person was last known to be.

 

The presumption of death is limited.  It is not retrospective and there is no legal presumption as to any particular date, within the seven year period, that the

person died.  Any precise date of death must be established by the evidence.

 

Once the presumption is established, then the missing person will likely be declared dead unless there is evidence to rebut the presumption. Evidence likely to

rebut the presumption usually centers around possible motives for the missing person to deliberately disappear. This may involve explanations such as

criminal activity, financial or family problems. If there is an alternative explanation for the absence, this will generally prevent the presumption from arising.

 

To raise the presumption, the onus of proof rests with the person who will benefit from the declaration of death. (Re Lewe’s Trusts (1871) 6 Ch. App. 356.)

 

Proof of presumed death requires proof only on the balance of probabilities.

 

Re Johannisse and Gray(1985) 33 A.C.W.S. (2d) 231 determined brain death to constitute death, for legal purposes.

 

 

  1. THE  INFERENCE OF  DEATH

 

 

At common law, the presumption of death could only apply if a person were missing for at least seven years.

 

Apart from this presumption of death however, it has long been possible for the courts to infer death from reasonable evidence. In order to persuade a court to draw such an inference, it is necessary to provide evidence from which the court would reasonably conclude that:

a)  there could be no other reasonable explanation for the absence; and

b)  no apparent motive for the disappearance.

 

Such fact situations are usually linked to an act of peril at the time of the disappearance.  Examples could include disappearing while climbing Mount Everest or

disappearing during a natural disaster such as the tsunami.

 

 

  1. THE TIME OF DEATH

 

At common law, it is sometimes important for succession purposes to determine whether the missing person survived to a particular relevant date.

 

The courts could declare that a person had died by a specified date, however the actual date of death had to be established by the evidence.  It was most often

inferred from circumstantial evidence.

 

If death is to be presumed, the court will determine the date to have occurred at some time during the seven year period after the disappearance. Courts have

stated that it is more likely that the missing persons died shortly after the disappearance than later, but there is no such presumption in law.  It is a matter of

satisfying the court based on the evidence adduced

 

It is likely, however, that when a person disappears in circumstances of peril, the court will conclude the death occurred shortly after the peril.

 

The onus of proving death generally remains on the person who claims a right for which proof of death is necessary.  Similarly the onus of proving the date of

death remains on the person who claims a right for which proof of the date death is necessary.

 

In order for a death is to be presumed, the person bearing the onus of proof must raise a prima facie case, whereupon the burden to rebut the presumption

shifts to the person or persons who would deny the death has occurred.

 

 

 

  1. THE SURVIVORSHIP AND PRESUMPTION OF DEATH ACT.

 

 

Importantly, The Survivorship and Presumption of Death Act, s. 3 replaces the common law requirement of a seven year absence.  In its place s. 3 provides that

any unexplained absence may be sufficient to justify an order of presumed death. The court may grant an order of presumed death where a review the evidence

satisfies the court on a number of grounds that the person should be presumed dead.

 

Section 3 reads, in part, as follows:

“3 (1) If, on the application of an interested person under the Rules of Court, the court is satisfied that

(a) a person has been absent and not heard of or from by the applicant, or to the knowledge of the applicant by any other person, since a day named,

(b) the applicant has no reason to believe that the person is living, and

(c) reasonable grounds exist for supposing that the person is dead,

the court may make an order declaring that the person is presumed to be dead for all purposes, or for those purposes only as are specified in the order.

(2) An order made under subsection (1) must state the date on which the person is presumed to have died.

(3) Any interested person may, with leave of the court, apply to the court for an order to vary, amend, confirm or revoke an order made under subsection (1).

(4) An order, or a certified copy of an order, declaring that a person is presumed to be dead for all purposes or for the purposes specified in the order, is proof of death in all matters requiring proof of death for those purposes.

(5) The registrar of the court must forward to the chief executive officer under the Vital Statistics Act an order made under subsection (1) or (3) within 30 days of the entry of the order.”

 

Section 3 thus permits a court to make an order that a person shall be presumed dead for all purposes, or only for those purposes that are specified in the

order. This allows the court to satisfy immediate needs without prejudicing the interests of other parties.

 

The presumption may be rebutted by contrary evidence.

 

Further, Section 2 of the Act reads as follows:

 

“2 (1) Except as provided in subsections (2), (3) and (4), if 2 or more persons die at the same time or in circumstances that make it uncertain which of them survived the other or others, those deaths are, for all purposes affecting the title to property, presumed to have occurred in the order of seniority, and accordingly the younger is deemed to have survived the older.

(2) This section is subject to section 72 of the Insurance Act.

(3) Subject to a contrary intention appearing by the instrument, if

(a) an instrument contains a provision for the disposition of property operative in any one or more of the following cases, namely, if a person designated in the instrument

(i) dies before another person,

(ii) dies at the same time as another person, or

(iii) dies in circumstances that make it uncertain which of them survived the other, and

(b) the designated person dies at the same time as the other person or in circumstances that make it uncertain which of them survived the other,

then, for the purpose of that disposition, the case for which the instrument provides is deemed to have occurred.

(4) Subject to a contrary intention appearing by the will, if

(a) a will contains a provision for a substitute personal representative operative in any one or more of the following cases, namely, if an executor designated in the will

(i) dies before the testator,

(ii) dies at the same time as the testator, or

(iii) dies in circumstances that make it uncertain which of them survived the other, and

(b) the designated executor dies at the same time as the testator or in circumstances that make it uncertain which of them survived the other,

then, for the purpose of probate, the case for which the will provides is deemed to have occurred.

(5) If a contract of accident insurance or of sickness insurance, or both, provides for the payment of money on the death by accident of the person insured and the person insured and a beneficiary perish in the same disaster, it is presumed, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, that the beneficiary died first.

The exception stated in Section 72 of the Insurance Act reads as follows:

“Simultaneous deaths

72.Unless a contract or a declaration otherwise provides, if the person whose life is insured and a beneficiary die at the same time or in circumstances rendering it uncertain which of them survive the other, the insurance money is payable in accordance with section 52 (1) as if the beneficiary had predeceased the person whose life is insured.”

 

If not rebutted, the effect of the presumption is that the younger person would inherit from the older under the latter’s will or on an intestacy.

 

An interesting illustration of the operation of these presumptions is found in the case of Leach v. Egar and Public Trustee 1990 38 E.T.R. 65.  In that case a

divorced mother and her children were lost at sea and presumed dead.  The trial judge ruled that the father and former husband was entitled to indirectly inherit

his estranged wife’s estate.

 

The court applied s.2 of the Survivorship and Presumption of Death Act and determined that the mother died first and then the children.  Because the mother

died intestate, her estate passed to the children who were deemed to have survived her.  Because the children also died intestate, their estates passed to their

surviving father.  In this decision the B.C Court of Appeal upheld the trial court’s decision saying that it was not contrary to public policy to permit this inheritance.